Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Crazed Juror Eats Cannoli Dip

We have 30ish teachers and staff at my sons' Preschool and I thought it would be fun to bake some treats as an end of the year thank you snack. I set this up prior to remembering that I had received a Jury Summons. Playing the odds, I really didn't think I'd have to show up. Surely I would be among the multitudes who call the number the night before at exactly 5:30pm and get the 'You are Excused' message. Surely.

5:19pm I call. The number says I have to report. Surely I've just called to early and they haven't updated their system.

5:35pm I call. The number says I have to report. Surely I've just heard wrong.

5:56pm I call. Again. The number again says I have to report. Recognizing this is a real deal I am in a pickle. I'm baking for all the teachers, have to get my children to school and report to fulfill my civic duty all by 8am the next morning. Lovely. After calling in reinforcements, I have it handled.

I baked two batches of my favorite Bliss Bite Cookies. Bite sized chocolate chip cookie goodness with the crowning glory of a Bliss Milk Chocolate. What's not to love? Nothing. Exactly!

Then I baked a gigantic tray of chocolate carmel brownies that are pretty much to die for. A rich creamy layer of carmel nestled in between two layers of chocolate brownie make it a decadent dessert of deliciousness. If I could have, I would've eaten half of them myself. I used self control. It was hard.

Then there was a fun stawberry display that I complimented with a Cannoli Dip. I'm experimenting with the perfect Cannoli Cream right now and this was a success. Chocolate chips whipped into a sweetened Ricotta Cheese mixture...ahhhhh!

Fast forward to the next morning. My wonderful reinforcement arrived in time for me to make it to Jury Duty and angelically agrees to take the tasty treats with her to school. I dash off to the courthouse.

Amazed, dazed and confused - I am actually called for a case and told I'll possibly have two cases as they are short on people. Seriously? Seriously. Thirty jurors are chosen to sit on a DWI case. They will whittle us down to 12. I don't want to be whittled. I want to sit in the room of uncalled jurors feeling like a caged animal and read my book all day. I have my son's preschool graduation the next day and nothing will stand in its way. I will be there.

I make my way into the courtroom and it is EXACTLY like television. I felt like I was auditioning for a movie. There I sat, anxiously watching as juror after juror is excused. My odds of sitting on this case are getting greater by the minute. Lunchtime hits and it hits me, they still haven't selected a jury, this case will be a at least two days long. I will miss my son's graduation if I am chosen.

The courthouse cafeteria looked vile and inedible. Barely able to eat, I shove down a Philly Cheese Steak with onions, peppers, mushrooms cheese and marinara sauce from a restaurant across the street. I spurged on a cannoli for dessert since I'm comparing my recipe. Theirs was awful. Let's add insult to injury, could the day be worse? Yes.

I went back to the courthouse and talked to the administration. I asked to be moved to another day, another time - anything but where I was as I could not sit on this case. There was nothing the lady could do. That's when I lost it. I broke down and cried and told her I was going to miss graduation. Her eyes grew large, she took pity on me and advised me to write a letter to the judge. I did so and gave it to the baliff. (Is this like TV or what?).

With a red, splotchy, tear stained face, I walked up to the baliff and gave him my letter. He read it, took one look at me and gravely advised that we were at the mercy of the judge at this point. A black caped man with unruly gray curls and a bad striped bow tie.

I watched in horror as my group of fellow jurors continued to be whittled away. We were down to four and I had a 25% chance of being called. The state and prosecution finally stood and announced they were satisfied with the jury. I let out a sigh of relief. The baliff shot me a quick victory grin. I was off the hook.

BUT WAIT! The judge wanted an alternate juror. I almost threw up then and there. The next name announced was miraculously another woman and she passed the screening. I made it! I was officially off the hook and was attending my son's graduation. Praise the Lord!

Thankfully I was there today for this important picture to be taken:

Let's not talk about the rest of the cannoli dip that completely disappeared as a result of my stress relieving binge. Along with some brownies. Ok a LOT of brownies, but who's counting?

Have a delicious day and we'll chat soon!


  1. So glad you got to go to his graduation - and never compare your delish food to the food at the courthouse!!! No comparison - you win hands down!!!!

  2. Ugh, I had a total high school flashback as I stood in that very cafeteria, desperately wanting someone to sit with. I did sit down with some other women who totally ignored me as I felt like the world's biggest loser. Nah, no bitterness here!
    Congratulations on making the sweet graduation!

  3. Thanks Beth! :) And Amy, the courthouse food....whoaaaa. So relieved to have made it to the big day!

  4. Pheweeeee. This post made me SWEAT! Maybe the Lord just wanted you to appreciate graduation all the more. Thank goodness for being able to break into tears on the spot! Bless your heart, sweet CC, blessssss your heart!